It has been decided...

Decisions, decisions....we are making decisions every day of our life with varying degrees of importance. But although some decisions may not be 'critical' in a way or another, we can still be stuck in a vexing dilemma. We start by weighing the pros and cons...but what if the pros and cons are at equilibrium? Whatever should I do? 'Markets clear' but not my mind. It's still undecided...wondering, assessing, searching for a sign as to which direction to take but to no avail. Well, it is at this point that friends' words of advice are of great influence. Here's a case where a good friend of mine 'help' me decide whether I should do advance one ballet exam.

Reasons against it: 1)I don't see myself taking advance two ballet in the future. 2)It's not cheap-bout $1200+ in all to get a certification + time required + physical and mental stress. 3)The cert obtained will get me nowhere unless I decide to dance to live (which, well...nah, most prob not).
Reasons for it: 1)It will be an accomplishment/self-satisfaction. 2)After all, I've come a looong way...it'll be a shame not to finish it since it’s only 2 more grades to go. 3) If I don't do the exams, KX will not do the exams too (saying to me, "no pressure, debby''). Hahaha...yeah right.

So this kinda decided for me. =) Okay KX, we can do it! we'll be each other's motivation yea?
See, friends are a huge part of us. They evolve around our lives that's for sure. I feel that one doesn’t need many friends; only a few good reliable ones and you are blessed. A friend read my blog said(referring to the part where I'd mentioned about bottled feelings), that I should share my problems so that friends could share the burden, give advice/opinion or be a reminder. And that she will lend me a listening ear. Aww...that's so sweet of her. Although, all this I already know but it's just that she said it and I know that she's one true friend I can rely on.

My point is...

Here's a couple of things...first of all, don't misunderstand. I don't mean to say I am lazy, stubborn and stupid, etc. I am definitely not putting myself down. Hmm...call it reversed psychology, if you want. C'mon let's admit it. We all encounter times of laziness, stubbornness and acts of stupidity. I mean, hey, to be perfect all the time, saying all the rights things at the right time, doing the right things at the right time, it sums up being non-existent in this world. And it is imperfection that gives people their individual uniqueness. It also concerns people's different perception of you and your personality. The human mind is indeed complex. The human emotion is even harder to decipher. That's why you get this cliché of complicated love.
As for finding my solace, don't worry, am working on it, yeah? People say it's bad to bottle up feelings. Letting it out will make you feel better. How true is it? How much better will I be? I wonder. Though it's all been said but nothing done, I marvel at how it will make me feel better since whatever it is that is bugging me still exist. But what's this about "I feel much better now that I've told ya..." that we so heard of? So that's why this blog is here for my rants and raves which sorta be an outlet for my inner thoughts. ;-)

"Hors d'oeuvre"

For starters, well, an appetizer if you like, this very first post of mine will be a little bit about myself. Just who am I? What kind of a person am I? I say, I am a lazy, stubbon, stupid and miserable person. I have no goals in life nor do I know what I want to do. Sure, there are plenty of things that I want but are just not within my reach, or are they? I am not a planner. I prefer spur of the moment, spontaneity, come what may. I am a procrastinator, can't be bothered and who is critical of many things. I am a dreamer, and I like to keep my feelings to myself, especially when I am feeling down. A friend of mine once said to me that I never show my anger before and rarely, my unhappiness. Unhappy stuff should be bottled up. Nobody wants to know about unhappy stuff. Some may not even understand your plight. Some have their own problems too.So why bother them with mine? Only thing is that instead of tossing it out to sea, never to return again, I keep it burrowed in my mental possession. It bothers me. Haunts me, weighing me down. However will I find solace?